I have heard this many times in the past and last couple of weeks many
more times that it makes me think WHAT IS NORMAL?
I have been a loner all along and enjoy being that way, I don’t have
many friends, I don’t like parties, I don’t like shopping with a group of
friends – I rather go alone, I don’t drink despite being in the corporate world
for 10 years, my definition of holiday is visiting home because I stay alone
far from family, though I am a girl I don’t remember birthdays and
anniversaries, I am not excited about performing a dance at my cousins wedding,
I don’t care about fashion because I have my style statement which I won’t
change, I hate going to beauty parlor and do it only when it is extremely
necessary, I read one book of Mills and Boons and never again – I find them
creepy, I can spend the whole day at home reading a book and cooking some good
food, that is how I relax, I also love Friday evenings not because I am
preparing to go to a pub but because I can watch an old movie till late in the
night and wake up late on a Saturday morning and not worry about meetings on my
calendar – that makes me happy, I have a reputation in office of not being
friendly , being too reserved and too blunt – for this and many more reasons I
am ABNORMAL a.k.a boring, not social, self-contained and sometimes selfish.
“You need to have some fun in life, weekends are for fun and not for
wasting them at home”, “Tum umar se pehle budhhi ho gayee ho”, “You are a
gone-case” – and so many such comments which I hear now and then from people
who have a normal life.
Once upon a time Sati was normal, honor killing was normal , infact it
is still normal in some places, girl getting married at 19 was normal, having 5
children was normal, Zamindar troubling the farmers was normal, British ruling
India was normal, girls not allowed to study and work was normal…………..but today
it is not. Why?
When majority does not have
problem with it, it becomes normal. What is normal in the west is not normal in
the eastern world and vice versa. The lifestyle that is normal in Bangalore is
not normal in a village of Punjab. The bigger debate is what is normal is
considered right. Even this boils down to majority I guess? If there is a majority
of people saying something is right – it is considered right. It is well said “Wrong
does not cease to be wrong just because the majority share in it”. But look at
the vicious circle who decides whether it is right or wrong – the majority- at least
most of the times.
I have realized that my “abnormality” is probably because I am in
minority. My choices don’t have social acceptance. I am not in the prettiest,
easiest or most comfortable spot with the rest of the world and sometimes I wish
I was more normal than what I am – but may be your weird is my normal. Who’s to
say? J
In my first mnc job I was like why do people write "J" I the emails. And then I found MS engineers need to work more to solve this issue . Is it same here? The last J in your post.
ReplyDeleteIn my first mnc job I was like why do people write "J" I the emails. And then I found MS engineers need to work more to solve this issue . Is it same here? The last J in your post.
ReplyDeleteIn my point of view, let's not pay any heed to what others say about what's right and what's wrong or weird. They are not living our lives,not wearing our shoes and doesn't know what issues we have. So it doesn't matter what others think..! Cheers Navneet ����
ReplyDeleteIn my point of view, let's not pay any heed to what others say about what's right and what's wrong or weird. They are not living our lives,not wearing our shoes and doesn't know what issues we have. So it doesn't matter what others think..! Cheers Navneet ����
ReplyDeleteGood blog, Navneet.
ReplyDeleteThe difference here, is between "normal" and "usual" or "general". Just because a lot of people do something, it becomes a practice "generally" or "usually", but most people mistake that for being "normal". What is generally available or usually done need not be normal!
There are strict laws against things like Sati and honour killing, so those should not classify under the "usual" category either. Such cases are often hidden and obviously not allowed by the Constitution.
But the example you gave of bursting firecrackers and polluting the environment is perfect - that is what people "generally" or "usually" do in Diwali and such occasions, there is no law against it either, but people like you and me should not consider it "normal" from any angle. It is not abnormal on your part to think that such things are unacceptable :-)
Similarly, parents and family putting pressure on a girl or guy to marry someone from the same religion and caste is a "general" or "usual" practice, but I would say marrying somebody from a different religion or caste is also perfectly normal!