Sunday, 22 May 2016

Old Time Not Only Gives Nostalgia But Perspective Too !!

While my colleagues and me sat relishing the Daal makhani and Chicken butter masala from “Chulah Chauki ka Dhaba” it was not just the food but the ambience of the place too that we cherished. Apart from the cane sofas and “moodas” (small round chairs with cushions but no backrest) the “Manji” (cot) on which laid a wooden slab either side of which people can sit and eat, reminded us of the good old days. It kicked off with Ritesh saying “I am glad there was no watsapp , internet and videogames in my childhood days – I have so many memories to relish.”
Sanket (in his typical Bihari accent) : “ Arre bhai, when you get older then what we are living today will also feel better than that day. Sadeeyao nahi, Happinessva mei jeeyo”

Ritesh: “Just to come to this restaurant we coordinated with all our colleagues for atleast 2 days on watsapp and email and here were times where all you had was the landline, friends were not supposed to call on that which means all the planning had to be done during school time and everyone kept their word. Smiling at me , you must have been the obedient kid in the school and you were the kind of kids who were our enemies, my friends used to plan bunking the school and after lunch sharp 2:00 pm we all had to gather near Pandey Chacha’s shop. We had this girl and I can bet she must have been like you, laughingly pointing at me, she was the monitress of the class and would always complain about a bunch of us. Our names were written for the whole year on the blackboard corner “

Sanket: “and I used to secretly take money from my mom and have that pepsi in plastic packets. I was so scared of dad I would never ask for money from him.”

Me: “I never bunked my classes, smiling at Ritesh, but I feel nostalgic about how I used to be so excited about the new text books and copies and would sit all day long covering them with brown paper and choosing the name labels was such a big project, I would buy 4-5 sheets of different stickers. “
Ritesh: “ Initially we used to have just the simple brown paper and later there was one with plastic feel, haina”
Me: “Yup yup, and the typical singing of Goooooooodddddd Mooorrrnnniiiinnnngggg Maaammmmm”. Everyone on the table started laughing.

Shreya: “In my school we used to have PT classes. That day we used to wear our Team dress – like red/gree/blue/yellow team had different dresses. My shoes would never be clean so in the morning after reaching school I would rub a whole lot of chalk on my PT shoes to make them look white.”
Everyone supported her while they remembered their own days and ways.

Me: “I don’t know if we still get it but in those days there was this toffee called “Boyes” – it used to
 come in orange and black flavor – that was famous for birthdays. And this birthday girl like a queen would go around distributing toffees to classmates ,other classes and teachers. She would have her best friend carry her bag of toffees for her which was like such a privileged designation at that time and the best friend would then get some extra toffees at the end”
Selva: “I used to carry that Milton water bottle and sometimes I used bring Rasna in that bottle. That day everyone used to be my best friend , laughs.”

Me: “Nowadays Saturdays and Sundays I get so lazy but back then Sundays I used to wake up by 7 in the morning – eat, bath and get ready in front of the TV because 9 o clock in the morning it used be Chandrakaanta time. Then there was Mowgli and Potli Babaki “Geeto ka , Kahaaniyon ka kisso ka chhaava”. OMG those days were so good. I don’t think our kids generation will have all this to watch.. Apps for poems, Apps for learning ABCD and what not.
Oh Yes and every Saturday evening the Doordarshan movie was such a big hit. We would pull the curtains up and some of the people who used to work in our house would stand at the window to watch the movie for sometime. And the Chitrahaar – Can’t imagine there was just one song show in those days”
Ritesh: “and whenever there was a romantic scene , mom would say “go get me a glass of water”. I would take time to get up and slowly push my way when second time “Go, I am thirsty , get me water”
Everyone bursted out laughing.

Vicky: “Although I like power back but sometimes when it takes time for the power backup to start it reminds me of those early days if the power went off , there used to be complete silence for sometime and my elder brother would make these ghostly noises to scare me , I would start shouting and from the other room Daddy would point the torch light in the direction of my room and would keep talking from the other room saying “Mera Raja Beta, don’t worry Daddy is here”. Till mom would go to the kitchen holding the wall to find her way and get a candle for both the rooms. And when the power was back we used to hear children from neighbours shouting YYYEEYYYY and in the fun I would beat up my brother.”

Bye Bye Road
Me: “Back then there was a place called Mirick near Siliguri, probably still is– it had beautiful tea gardens and used to be our favorite destination for a day trip. Mom Dad would be discussing all the problems of the house and relatives sitting in the front seat – Dad was very fond of music and would have the latest Hindi movie song cassette playing, while me and brother would be at the back seat sitting other way round looking at the road going away from us and shouting on top of the voice “Bye bye road, bye bye road” I don’t know what fun that was. Time and again mom would say, “Stop shouting, Papa important gall kar rahe ne” and we would keep shut for a few seconds then start with low volume and high and higher and again on full blast “bye bye road”. On the way back both of us used to be asleep on the back seat and would wake up only when we reached home”
Sanket: “And we used to watch movie in VCR. All neighbor kids would gather at our place to watch the VCR movie.”

Reema: “When I was a kid we used to play chor police, Vish –amrit which many kids used to say Lock-Key, Pittu which was my favourite, Colourman colour man which colour do you want to choose (sings it to the old days tune and laughs), Trump cards of WWF wrestlers, Name|place|animal|thing , chor|Sipahi|Raja|Mantri.”
Everyone started laughing and clapping in a gesture to show their assent.

Neha: “Every summer holidays we used to go to our Naani ji’s house. She used to stay in the suburbs – we used to play in the water for whole day and in the evening all the children used to sleep together on the terrace – there were no beds, just cots with handmade mattresses – and we would keep counting the stars or keeping guessing the design of the constellation while all elders would sit on the other side chit chatting till late in the night.”


The discussion went on and on. I don’t know if technology is making us happier, sometimes it feels thank god we have technology else I would have been so miserable. But other times I feel old days were better – so what if it took time to communicate and there was just landline – we were closer to our neighbors, yes it took more time to travel anywhere- but it meant less travelling and more local festivities, medicine field has become so advanced but we have become more mentally ill – I think problems will always stay – that is nature’s law , that is a way of nature to keep a sanity check on human species, probably we are getting deluded where we feel we are solving a problem unconsciously giving rise to another one as a repercussion.

Saturday, 14 May 2016

It Is Not Our Style Statement - It Is Our Faith !!


I confess that I am not religious but I make a small attempt to understand the meaning of what is recited in Gurbani. It helps me connect to my religion. After seva Simmi and me found a comfortable place to sit and have langer . Just next to us sat another lady who was evidently of a different faith, probably a Hindu, as I could make out from her neatly draped saree. Fluently rattling a South Indian language she spoke to her kid and made arrangements for him to sit.

Simmi: “Look at her Neet, she is wearing a kada. Ajjkal wearing a kada has become fashion. Everyone wears it. Ranveer Kapoor was also wearing a kada in Rockstar.”

Neet: “Hmmm but when a Sikh wears a kada it means a lot more. It comes with a responsibility that we are to fulfill and that is the reason Guru Gobind Singh ji adorned his Sikh as Khalsa and gave him the 5 Ks to follow”

Simmi: “ What responsibility?? Kada is just worn to depict that we are Punjabi. All Punjabis wear Kada.”
Neet: “ Do you know what the 5 K’s of Sikhism are?”
Simmi: “Oh yes ! Kesh (unshorn hair), Kanga (comb), Kashera or Kaccha (breeches), Kirpan (Sword) and Kada (bangle)”
Neet: “Do you know what the significance of each one of them is? Why should we follow these 5 Ks? “
Simmi: “What you mean why? These are signs of Sikhism. We are Sikh so we wear kada, sport a turban and keep long hair…………there is no why here. All Sikhs do it.”   

Neet: “There is a reason why Sikhs are supposed to follow the 5 Ks. Wearing a Kada , turban and kirpaan are only external endorsements – there is a much deeper meaning to it and when we imbibe their meaning into our life, that is when you become a true Sikh.

The five symbols of the Sikh faith are historically, practically and spiritually significant. I am not 100% sure because there are so many sources and they all explain different meaning but I will tell you what I could relate the most to.

Kesh
Kesh (uncut hair):  A Sikh doesn’t cut hair. Apart from reasons like it reminds us of the sacrifice of Bhai Taru Singh ji who preferred to have his scalp removed rather than have his hair cut when forced to give up Sikh religion or that a Sikh believes to keep intact all gifts given to him by God , stay in his will and not give them away for materialistic pleasures of looking good in front of other people, one of the most important reason is that, there is said to be a 10th inklet “Dasam Dwaar” which is located in the head and is invisible. Just like more number of coils around an iron rod increases the strength of the electromagnet , hair like the coil turned around the knot help to attain and save more spiritual energy. Have you noticed all the sages, rishi munis in the past used to have long hair tied in a knot on the head.
Through the turban we protect these hair . There was a time when only a section of society was allowed to sport a turban as a sign of royalty - in Sikhism everyone is same in Waheguru’s eyes hence everyone wears a turban irrespective of the social or economic status.

Kanga
Kanga (comb):  A Sikh keeps a comb in the knot of the hair. It is a symbol of cleanliness. Everyday a Sikh washes and combs the hair and gets rid of the unhealthy dead hair. On a daily basis A Sikh bathes in the morning to clean his body of impurities and does paath to understand and follow the teachings our Gurus to clean his mind of unhealthy thoughts and impurities.
If you notice the Kanga is made of wood because wood does not create static electricity unlike plastic or metal.

Kashera
Kashera or Kaccha (breeches): These boxer like shorts are worn by every Sikh which is a symbol of continence (Self Control) and high moral character. It was also easy clothing which during the time of war helped Sikh soldiers climb on and off a horse easily.





Kirpaan

Kirpan (Sword): It is not just a Talwaar that a Sikh carries, it is a Kirpaan - combination of “Kirpa” (kindness) and “Aan” (Self Respect).  A Sikh uses his sword either to protect himself or to save another person, who is unable to protect himself, from atrocity. A Sikh uses a Kirpaan only when all other means of achieving the right outcome has exhausted and failed.





Kada
Kada (bangle): A Sikh wears a Kada on the right hand. It is a symbol that prevents us from doing any evil or wrong doing. Mostly people work with their right hand so before you do anything the kada reminds you of God’s will and helps you perform the most righteous action.”





Simmi: “Neet, This is so much deeper than I thought. It feels blessed to be part of a faith that preaches such good things. But after listening to you I am thinking how many of us actually follow all these teachings. I don’t even ordain myself outwardly leave alone walk the most righteous path.”

Neet: “Neither do I.  I try to be a good human being but I know my goodness is not even the size of a drop in the ocean. We are too busy with materialistic achievements and luxuries “

Simmi: “I see so many of us who outwardly sport a turban, kada , kirpan but do they really live a righteous life. People are so full of ego, jealously - they don’t embellish themselves inwardly”

Neet: “Who is to judge them Simmi? We ourselves are lacking in so many ways – and who knows how the record book of our actions is maintained. I don’t know if there is an easy answer to this – but who is to decipher Babaji's plans who has no beginning and no end, who is eternal and infinite”

ਅਪੁਨੇ  ਸੇਵਕ  ਕੀ  ਆਪੇ  ਰਾਖੈ  ਆਪੇ  ਨਾਮ  ਜਪਾਵੈ
The Lord Himself protects the honor of His servant and makes him meditate on Naam
ਜੇਹ  ਜੇਹ  ਕਾਜ  ਕਿਰਥ  ਸੇਵਕ  ਕੀ  ਥੇਹਾ  ਥੇਹਾ  ਓਉਥ  ਧਾਵੈ
Where the work of His servant is, He goes there to do it

Saturday, 7 May 2016

Love At First Sight - In Love With Mommy Since I Opened My Eyes !

Maavan Thandiyaan Chaavaan , Chhavaan Kaun Kare
Maavan De Harjaane Loko Kaun Bhare
Kendi, Putt Mere To Tattiyaan Havaavan Rehen Pare
Haaye, Maavan Thandiyaan Chaavan , Chhavan Kaun Kare

Mommy and Me
My parents are the most loved people in my life but Papa always says that I am biased towards Mom. . Mom is my best friend with whom I go shopping, discuss my crushes, my buddy who listens to office woes, my boy friend – I talk to her 2-3 times a day and the after-office- night-call is for one or two hours, my guide from whom I have to take advice irrespective of the topic, my dietician – who keeps a check on what all I eat and makes suggestions , my doctor – who has the remedy for almost any bimari that affects me from bad stomach to bad throat to a sprain, my financer – who keeps advising me on how and where to spend and invest money, my marriage agent – who makes sure every two weeks I have a new proposal for consideration, my body guard – who walks right beside me clearing the clutter of good looking guys J, my lawyer – who fights on my behalf with all relatives for my decisions where they don’t support me. She is the most precious gift Babaji has given me. I don’t like to use the word love loosely and I don’t like it when people use it for almost anything – I use it for special people and special things. I love my mom so much that no blog, greeting card or gift can express that feeling.

From bachpan till now Mommy has taught me and birey(brother)many things and some we interpreted J……….Love you Mommmyyyy J

She taught us Self Confidence. “I know everything ok. I know better than you. You can’t hide it from me ok. “

Negotiation : “Complete the maths homework then you will get one ice-cream. If you complete English homework then you will get one chocolate also.”

Patience: “Till you can’t memorize your tables of 7’s I will keep you locked in bathroom. “

Nothing is impossible - “Enni Uchi awaaz !! Chup karke gall kar – I am your mummy. Mere saamne moo kholke na boli”

Unity: “We don’t go to pool parties and cluba shabba vich. We don’t stay out late night. We don’t talk over the phone all the time. Asi nai jaana on picnic with boys. Saade gharaan vich nai hunda ehe sab.“

Exercise: “Vickyyyyy Puuttttarrr (to my brother). Come here. He is your bade wale mamaji . Pairee hathh lao. And she is your Naani Maasi – Matha teko. Very good”

"Ehe Kehoji Kudi Aa ? "
Secret sauce of Intuition: “Mainu pela to hi pata si this girl is not nice – banala hor Girlfriendaan.
I knew you will score so less in maths.
I knew the moment you left the house that you will catch cold.”

Inheritance: “Pita pe poot, nasal pe ghoda, bautaan nai taan thoda thoda. You have received all these bad habits from your pyo (father). "."Hanji Penji – He is tall like his pyo (father) and hatta katta like his mamaji – Nanke te geya mera putt”

No food wastage: “ This is only 2 rotis puttar – chalo finish karo.
Just little bit makhan putt – you need oil for your sukki haddiyaan
Sirf 2 slices of mango – where will I keep them in fridge – chalo eat it and finish up”

Fight for your rights: “whose room is this? Yours. So who will clean it? You”

No Procrastination: “Neetu – I want the room cleaned TODAY.
I want the grocery shopping done by TODAY evening.”

How to use one item for multiple purposes:

Mom: I want this leaking tap to be fixed TODAY.
Neetu: I called two plumbers – they said they are not available – they will come tomorrow.
Mom: Achha , so for today I will put my head in the tutti so that water will not leak. That works. Haina? “


Neetu: Mummy , I don’t like kaddu di sabji. And I don’t like baigan. Cook something else na plzzzz.
Mom: Achha putt…..koi gall nai, mera sher puttar aaja mainu khala. Mera keema banala. Ok? Stupid nonsense girl.”

In difficult situations Papa = Police.
"You take one more step outside the house and I will call Papa"
"What ?? you won’t go to college?? I will call Papa."
"Haayee……Tera bike chori ho gaya??? Let me call Papa."

To be brave
“Tu  ghar chal then main tenu dekhdi aan”.
“you wait ok. You wait and watch……..I will tell you later…..buss tu Theherja.”

How to maintain your property
“Kann kholke sunla, if you decide to marry this girl, you will not get an inch from the property. Ehe gall yaad rakhi”

Correlation:
“My heart cries when I see you in these tattered clothes. Paise nai haige – fatte kapde paaye hoye ne. Leeraa Kacheera latak rahi ne – ehe kehoji tshirt aa”
“Jinder Pehnji’s husband recently brought a Fortuner. But they gave only 100 rupees for Shagan. Chhi.”

Fashion and Trends
“Your papa also married in Jatt family and had arranged marriage. Your Chachaji also married into Jatt family and had arranged marriage. Your Mamaji also , your Bhuaji also,………….therefore you also “

If you can’t measure, you can’t improve.
“Main tenu hazaar baar keha, open the dirty shoes in the veranda”
“This is the 100th time that sauce has fallen on your white t-shirt”

Endless Love and support
“So what if boss is angry with you, tu fikar na kar puttar, mummy tere naal aa”
“So what if you fought with friends, Mummy haigee aa, come lets go shopping”
“Don’t take stress of your promotion beta, mummy papa hai na, quit your job and come home”
“Koi na beta, sab thik ho jaana, come you eat garam garam food”
“If they say another word to you, tell them to talk to me. Main apne aap dekhlun.”

Pairaan De Vich Jannat Jisde, Sir Te Thandiyaan Chhavaan
Ankhaan De Vich Noor Khuda Da,Mukh Te Rehen Duaawaan
Godi De Vich Mamta Vasdi, Daaman Vich Fizaavaav
Jinna Karke Duniya Wekhi, Rehen Salaamat Maavaan

Saturday, 30 April 2016

The Jungle Traffic

Chetak and me
Chetak is very dear to me. For my sake he fought with the world – got few scars on his face and back. They will be there for life till a surgery is done. For now we are living with the scars – my parents, relatives and friends whoever meets Chetak mocks at them but I just laugh and let them be. 
Chetak is very patient – he doesn’t mind them a bit, them meaning the scars and the comments. Every day we go to office together and till date there has never been a day when Chetak has not accompanied me back home from office . He has accompanied me to the malls too without any complains and despite the fact that I have treated him badly sometimes, he is still the same. Chetak- my first car, white i-10, we have so many journeys traveled together. The most eventful being the jungle ride which we go through every day.

When I start 
Gaddi Jaandi Aa Chhalaanga Maardi.................

Fox
As soon as we step out of the house we see some black and yellow Lomdi (foxes)running around at full speed. They have no sense of direction and will put in their pointed face anywhere they find some place. They compete with 2 legged rats that
2 Legged Rat
run around at atomic speed. When Chetak and me try taking a left  suddenly a rat jumps on us from nowhere and before we gain balance from the rat attack , a fox barges in “beep….beeep.beeeeepppp” . Generally I tell Chetak to slow down and even stop sometimes because I don’t want to run in the rat-race, the fox will then show me his eyes as if trying to scare me and say “what the hell are you doing in my way”.
Snail


Some snails drag themselves on the side pathway – walking at their ownpace,stopping now and then to talk to their friends. Sometimes they have a tough time trying to go to the other side of the road.


Elephant
Sometimes I also see elephants in the jungle. They go at their own speed and they never give way to me. It doesn’t matter how much I honk they will ignore it and continue going their way. At some places I see herds of elephant also where 3-4 of them are competing with each other . Everyone prefers to stay at the back when they are competing because you never know which angry elephant might come and hit you.
Veggie Dinosaur

In this amazing jungle there are dinosaurs too. 
The vegetarian dinosaur - are very friendly. They carry oil and diesel with them and peacefully following all rules of traffic in the jungle. 

Non Veggie Dinosaur
Then you have the non-veg dinosaur of different sizes. They generally carry stones, furniture items, sand, wood with them. They come howling behind you and even if you have not done anything wrong they will not forgive you – they will eat you up.



Sometimes we meet big fat lazy cats – they are private cats , they go at their
Big Fat Cat - The SUVs
own speed on their private limited roads as if they own the roads and belong to the royal ancestors of the jungle. The rats and foxes don’t spare the royal crowd also. They try to find place in between the “Shaahi Sawari” but the size of the Sawari generally deters them from poking around. So they come back to Chetak and me and others like us where they can show their supremacy by honking and poking their nose.

Chetak ‘s height is not so good. And me being tall he looks even shorter so my friends and family told me that I should have chosen someone tall and sturdy – so that it looks good when he walks with me. But there are many advantages of having Chetak – Being short and small he cuts across many places very easily , doesn’t have to go back and forth when making a U turn. While I was taking a U turn with Chetak, it doesn’t matter how many indicators (warnings) I give to other animals to stay away, a fox from the left will overtake me and a rat will appear on the right side. On Honking they
"What are you doing ? No traffic sense"
show me eyes again. While I try to shoo them away vigorously moving my hand from inside and shouting at them which only I can hear because the windows are shut – it makes no difference to them and they continue to bully me. Sometimes couple of their friends take advantage of the situation and they also barge in from left and right overtaking me – sometimes Chetak gets angry and we also blindly accelerate to overtake the foxes and rats , other times we just sit back quietly and let them go. Once the jungle is clear we continue again at our peaceful pace. Had Chetak been taller and bigger – the foxes and rats would have stayed away.

Just when we try to speed up and get into the momentum – there comes a red light halt. Just like small children stand obediently in a prayer hall in their own queue – Chetak and me also find a comfortable place to stand in our lane. The elephants , dinosaurs, cheetahs also stand in the line just
Waiting at the traffic signal!!
like us. Then comes a non veg dinosaur from the back – at full speed with no intention to stop. He will keep only an inch gap between chetak and himself , and will push my side view mirror inside. He keeps roaring all the time while he is standing and impatiently waits to run again. The ubiquitous foxes and rats will fit themselves in everywhere they can, making sure no space is left. When I first halted I was the one in the front but after few seconds a non-veg dinosaur , 2 foxes and 5 rats are standing in front of me. As the light grows green, animals behind us start roaring and shouting like crazy. I think this is a Jungle Custom – even though they can see that the animals in the front are moving forward they keep roaring and shouting till they themselves start moving.
Cheetah.....Roooooaaaaarrrr !!
 Just when I think I am ready to pace up – a cheetah steers from behind and zoop it goes past me – giving me jitters . The cheetah wants to maintain his status of being the fastest so many times they don’t even halt at the red light.
Saving ourselves from the jungle atrocities chetak and me finally reach the mall. The parking lot is comfortable, While I shop Chetak sits in the parking lot chatting with his other friends and some fat , lazy cats – while I enjoy myself in the mall.

At then End
Jungle Traffic Ne Chhalni Karta Mera Seena
Marjaaneya, Ajj Mera Jee Karda
Main Rajj Ke RAULA Pauna, Ajj Mera Jee Karda



Saturday, 23 April 2016

My Mother's New Rule Book for New Generation.....

Last week I missed writing because I had gone to visit my parents and was so busy meeting them and other relatives. And the usual question came up umpteen times
"Puttar , bya kado karna”. I gave varieties of answers starting from
Just smiling
Put it on the invisible supreme power – “Jado Rabb di Mehr Auntyji”
Put it back on them – “Tusi Munda labho, main tyaar aan”
Put it back on me – “Man bya karauna hi nai, Main single hi rena whole life vich”

Pammi Bhua
After everyone would leave , Late till night mom , pammi bhua and me would sit gossiping about Jeeti chachi,  Canada wale maamiji, Amreeka wale Taayaji, neighbor wali Parminder Chachi, Diljit Dosanjh,  Salmaan Khan, Katrina – Oh Yes Bollywood gossip is as important as relatives gossip – None is spared from our X-ray Machine.  I so much love this time – especially these late night useless discussions with pillows on the lap and every hour Khokha (our house help) would come and ask “Bibiji, cha hor leke aun” , time and again Dad and Fufadji pitching in to tell the ladies that they were overdoing with the way they described the fiaso of Ricky’s (Amreeka wale tayaji’s son) wedding, a short break with Pammi Bhua, who is an amazing singer, singing to Prakash Kaur’s
“Bajre da sitta, ni main talli te marodeya…..” and Fufadji making fun of her …….Kinna Maja aunda.
It was during these discussions one night when Pammi bhua said to Mom “Bhabiji, I am telling you , we have made a big mistake by teaching our children the right thing to do. That is why they suffer so much. I have decided some golden rule for my Pota-Poti and will make sure they become Awara no. 1, only then they can survive in this ruthless world warna koi nai puchhda”
Mom: “Pammi , what you said is crore di gall. Look at us, what did we gain by making our children cultured and well educated. If they were Awara by now they would have been married, may be twice – and I would be sitting here with my grandchildren. Waheguru knows when I will see their face. (Hitting me) Maran to pellan mainu dikhadi….”
My Mom's answer for everything I say
Me: Mom . what can I do ? Initially you had put 101 restrictions on me. Ethe nai jaana, othe nahi dekhna, ye nai karna wo nai karna. Now you say – find a partner yourself. Sorry but all good guys are taken and booked for life – and this happened when you were forcing me to study Probability chapter in Maths which I hated so much.
Mom: Pammi , I am telling you – I am going to write a rule book for the next generation so that they don’t do the same mistake that we have done.

Rule 1: Give them bad environment to grow up, bare minimum things to play and study. (Hitting me) For her we put “Jhoolah” and ede papa de truck vich mitti leke aaye , in corner of the garden she played with friends in Mitti making small houses of wet mud because I  thought children will play and this will help in physical and mental growth. I failed Pammi I totally failed. Aaha dekhla (hitting me again) what became of her.  Koi lod nai ehe sab karn di.

Rule 2: Never give them nutritious food . Only give them junk food. (Pointing at me again) Aha dekhla Kothe jinni lambi karti kudi  – ki faida hoya. Last month enna vadiya rishta aaya si – amreeka wale Tayaaji had sent, but the guy was short te Bewakoof Kudi (pointing at me yet again) ne mana karta. So don’t give good food – let them be short and thin. When they get something better they will feel good about it.

Rule 3: No need of good or branded schools. Only sarkaari schools vich bache padao. First you give them branded education then they don’t like anything non branded. So give them simple education – no need of Hi-Fi degrees. Look at Happy – He is doing so well in Canada driving Taxi. Does he have degree? No. Does he have beautiful wife? Yes. Does he have kids? Yes. And look at her (pointing at me again) – Happy is 2 years younger to her and ehe hale baithi aa.

Rule 4: No need to participate in extra-curricular activities at all. They are dimag – kharab activities. Debate and elocution vich bolke these kids think they are so good. Swa good.

Rule 5: If they get good marks – give them one tight slap. Tell them they should get only 3/10 – and not more. Don’t encourage them for higher studies . Lock them in bathroom next time if they still get good marks or think of becoming Doctor, Engineer.

Rule 6: If you call them and they reply “HANJI” another slap on their face. What is Hanji? Say AAHO. Because those who speak like this are very much in demand pammi – I am telling you. And aha Bewakoof (hitting me) says “Mom, He has no manners” Manners gayee tel lehn.

Rule 7: Don’t preach them anything “Khandaani”. Tell them to have as many girl friends they want and as many boy friends they want. Ki Khatt leya main khandaani akal deke? Pammi – did Jeeti tell you ….Her daughter got engaged?
Pammi bhua's Common Reaction
Pammi: Achhaaaaaa. Nai Bhabiji. When did that happen? Jeeti never tells me anything.
Mom: Happen taan 5 years pelan ho gaya si. For four years she had a boy friend. Now she got engaged to another NRI who is a GC holder and left the previous borfriend because he didn’t get GC. And ek Meri Bewakoof (pointing yet again at me) – 10 waari Amreeka jaake vi ek BF nai banaya.

Rule 8: Study less and do more of Facebook. No need to see these rotten channels like cnbc, discovery or reading knowledgeable books etc. Only spend time on Facebook, Instagran and waheguru knows hor kede kede websites ne – post as many photos and send faltu friend requests to everyone.

Rule 9: Work Less – Flirt More, Promotion di nahi koi lod. What is the point in working so hard , have dark circles under eyes and get a promotion after sleepless nights. The area where promotion is required (Shaadi) othe admission hi nahi mili.

Rule 10: 
Me: Mom ,Pammi bhua – I am sure there are many parents like you and many youngsters like me who are going through this but it is waheguru ji’s hukam under which we all reside and find our happiness. So Rule no. 10 is be happy with what you receive as Gurbani says:
ਹੁਕਮੈ ਅੰਦਰਿ ਸਭੁ ਕੋ ਬਾਹਰਿ ਹੁਕਮ ਕੋਇ ਨਾਨਕ ਹੁਕਮੈ ਜੇ ਬੁਝੈ ਹਉਮੈ ਕਹੈ ਕੋਇ
Hukamai andar sabhu ko baahar hukam na koi. Nanak hukamai je bujhai ta houmai kehai na koi
 which means Everyone is subject to Hukam; no one is beyond (exempt or outside of) Hukam. O Nanak! One who understands Hukam, does not speak in ego (i.e., that person does not live in Haumai or ego).

Pammi Bhua come let's do some Gidhha , you remember that boli 

" Nacha Nacha Nacha , Ni main agg wangu Macha,
Meri Nachdi di Jhanjhar Chhanke ni
Main taan Nachna Patola Banke ni"


Saturday, 9 April 2016

Parenthood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch !!

Once upon a time there was a guy named Happy ………….

Baapu Baapu Kenda Si, Baut Sukhi Renda Si

Happy de Mummy Papa kende:
MBA: Happy Puttar !! Come study , All the time playing football , gilli danda and running with friends. Ki karda firda tu……you have to become big man , study and get into big job with big degree. Do MBA and get good job. Eat Makhan and become healthy and intelligent and study puttar. Come do maths homework
MARRIAGE: Aa si Mera Happy Puttar !! Kinna sona munda, Kinna pyaara bacha …….Le putt have makhan , have parantha ….eat well …..Mera Happy Puttar will grow up and become very tall and very handsome and we will find her very beautiful girl ……haina puttar…..aa le eat more makhan.


Happy De Mummy Papa kende:
MBA: Happpyyyyyyy !!! Maths vich 6/10 ???????? why?? Your brain went for Gedi when you were writing paper. Now study hard….you have to get 10/10. You have to be topper in board , then engineering then MBA…....your pyo (father) will not write your paper…..start studying. Take this…..eat Badaam.
MARRIAGE: Happpyyyyyyy !!! Kinna sukka patla ho gaya mera munda. Who will marry you puttar? Kise ne apni kudi nai deni. Take this badaam……eat properly………now eat roti….now take juice……Haaan Shabaash eat puttar – then my puttar will look so handsome and will get married to beautiful kudi.


Happy de Mummy Papa Kende:
MBA: Haaaapppyyyyy !!! Very good Puttar , now you have done Engineering – now in two years you do MBA , see Pammi Bhua’s son also did MBA, now he is in USA and in another two years he will get Green card also…..now stop taking selfie and focus on MBA
MARRIAGE: Haaaapppyyyyy !!! Mera Putt , Mera Laal……you know Channi chachi’s son got married, Pal Tayaji’s son got engaged, Raani Aunty’s son had a daughter last month…….Now puttar you should also think about marriage …ok. Don’t do toon-taan. Chup chap get married . If we start searching now, we will find in 2 years.


Happy de seniors kende:
MBA: Yaar Happy ….there is nothing in MBA, don’t waste your time……in that money you can start something of your own …MBA will make you more calculative, stressful life and boring job. Atleast now you code and you know there is an output – after MBA you will never understand what you are doing and what is the output. Frustu ban jaana tu – don’t do MBA
MARRIAGE: Yaar Happy ….Musibat le li main Bya karake – don’t  get married – single life is best …..no restriction , no tension, no question and no answer. Meri gall sun…..Never get married.


Happy Kenda:

Wah Wah……Khud karli MBA , now earning good money and telling me don’t do. It is very easy to give gyaan, yourself sitting in USA, updating facebook photo of snow, river and mountain and now telling me happy dont do MBA.....Happy is not mad.....ok.....Happy is not so mad.....ok.
Wah Wah……Khud kar leya bya, now giving me gyaan. Whom am I earning money for? Nowhere to spend, no one to see movie with. I go kalle kalle Thailand – no one to play in water…...all photo are selfie.....I am tired of selfie ok - I want nice photo with wife in snow and mountain.




And then Happy Puttar did what he had to do................................

"La La La


Ho Ho Ho


Balle Balle


Shava Shava Sonia 


Oye Hoye Oye Hoye


Burrrraaaahhhh"


After 2 years :

Baapu Kehlaya, Baut Dukh Paaya

Happy apne puttar Ricky nu Kenda:
MBA: Ricky Puttar !! Come study , All the time playing football , gilli danda and running with friends. Ki karda firda tu……you have to become big man , study and get into big job with big degree. Do MBA and get good job. Eat Makhan and become healthy and intelligent and study puttar. Come do maths homework
MARRIAGE: Aa si Mera Ricky Puttar !! Kinna sona munda, Kinna pyaara bacha …….Le putt have makhan , have parantha ….eat well …..Mera Happy Puttar will grow up and become very tall and very handsome and we will find her very beautiful girl ……haina puttar…..aa le eat more makhan.

Happy apne juniors nu kenda:
MBA: There is nothing in MBA, don’t waste your time……MBA will give stressful life and boring job. Atleast now you code and you know there is an output – after MBA you will never understand what you are doing and what is the output. Frustu ban jaana tu – don’t do MBA
MARRIAGE: Musibat le li main Bya karake – don’t  get married – single life is best …..no restriction , no tension, no question and no answer. Meri gall sun…..Never get married.




Sunday, 27 March 2016

Whatever your 100% looks like give it when doing CROSSFIT !!!!

I welcome you to the community of people who have decided that easy will no longer suffice.

Today I whole squatedly….oops heartedly want to write about my close knit Crossfit community – my friends who work out with me at CrossfitforSure (http://crossfitforsure.com/)

I worked out at gym, did yoga, tried running but all of them failed to keep me engaged  after heavily
preparing for all these activities by buying new clothes, new shoes, sweat bands, knee caps etc. only 1 week of irregular classes was enough to drive me away from them.  How intelligent of me that I always took at least 6 months membership because I thought:
  1. It will save me money  - that is what the gym receptionist explained to me and convinced me that EVERYONE in this whole wide world always took a 6 month membership at the least
  2. I might just go out of guilt, that I have spent so much money so I better go and make some use of it.

 But nothing worked – and then Crossfit walked into my life (aaaa aaa aaa Kabhi khushi kabhi gammmmm)……..so what is Crossfit?

Hi !! My Name is Crossfit.....
Imagine a hunk whom you have a secret crush on and everyone who has ever talked to that hunk thinks he is an amazing guy and you keep asking your friends for more information about him ……but you don’t want to talk to him because you think he has too much attitude and you might as well start hating him after talking to this snob, but then one day your friend introduces you to this hunk and you kind of like him but at the same time you hate him because he makes you feel so inferior – because he is so good. So you meet him again because you want to prove to him that you are much better than what he thinks you are……..and then you meet him again and again and one day you fall in love and you get into a long term relationship with the hunk. His name is Crossfit.
Ok that was crap ….you can just Google about crossfit or you can visit: https://www.crossfit.com/ to know more about it.

We at CrossfitForSure are a close knit family of different types of Crossfitters.  

Crossfit Diva – She is an inspiration, not just to the women but the men too. She is very good at all kind of workouts – she finishes the workout first – sabse first – no. 1 always.  Many of us want to be able to work out like her and we are not at all jealous of her. God Promise – no jealousy.

KidSupermen – These young brats are so awesome. Suno Beta – we didn’t have Crossfit at your age. OK !! and pay attention to studies also !!
They fly at box jumps and swim during Lunges. And when we are sweating out – BUCK FURPEES – they will be sitting on the box cheering us “It’s not the age, it’s just in your mind, so don’t give up”.


Numerologist – They believe in the divine and mystical relationship between a number and one or more coinciding events. Multiple Reps coincide for them in one attempt - like one rope jump = 2/3 reps. Due to their numerology powers they control time - and are always ahead of it. They finish a 6 minute workout in 3.5 minutes. Amazing !!

Elegator – Madame doesn’t look her age at all. She gives all the girls jitters for she wears her age so elegantly and carries out all her roles effortlessly – be it a Mom, a crossfitter, a party host or just a friend.

Negotiators: We have no dearth of Cute Negotiators who will make sure they workout and they make everyone feel that they have done THE WOD only after they have it on the board on their terms and conditions. “Instead of 1 round of running I will do 2 rounds of walking, Instead of 15 reps of 24 inch box jump I will do 18 reps of 20 inch box, Since I am only 3 months old – I will do 10 reps instead of 20”

Men in Class: Yes we have very classy men, men of Indian origin brought up in UK who carried their class and accent back to India, the Lady Charmers – they make sure the ladies of the box get priority, when everyone is talking about the WOD on the watsapp group they will send “Happy Woman Day “message, and the Party Lovers - they host pool parties at their lavish house and make sure all arrangement is done in class.

Rival Party: Oh No no, we no make no enemy, enemy make us. Ok Whatever it means but we have these special kind of creatures whose neck is never straight. They are always looking towards the left or right. So if you want to take their side profile picture you will have to stand in front of them. You know what I mean …….. coz they are always looking on their left or right side, because they are checking out how many reps the other one has done.

Customary Xfitters:  They come; They work out; They Leave. Period.

All of them and the squats , the thrusters, the burpees, the box jumps, rope climbs and yadayadayada 
make Crossfit a part of my daily routine. And what makes CrossfitForSure part of my daily routine are the wonderful coaches Saara and Waseem. “Coaching is taking the player where he can’t take himself”. Thank you Saara and Waseem for not letting the WOD be just some numbers on the board but for standing right next to us and calling every attempt a NO REP.