My Mother's New Rule Book for New Generation.....

Last week I missed writing because I had gone to visit my parents and was so busy meeting them and other relatives. And the usual question came up umpteen times

"Puttar , bya kado karna”. I gave varieties of answers starting from

Just smiling
Put it on the invisible supreme power – “Jado Rabb di Mehr Auntyji”
Put it back on them – “Tusi Munda labho, main tyaar aan”
Put it back on me – “Man bya karauna hi nai, Main single hi rena whole life vich”

Pammi Bhua

After everyone would leave , Late till night mom , pammi bhua and me would sit gossiping about Jeeti chachi,  Canada wale maamiji, Amreeka wale Taayaji, neighbor wali Parminder Chachi, Diljit Dosanjh,  Salmaan Khan, Katrina – Oh Yes Bollywood gossip is as important as relatives gossip – None is spared from our X-ray Machine.  I so much love this time – especially these late night useless discussions with pillows on the lap and every hour Khokha (our house help) would come and ask “Bibiji, cha hor leke aun” , time and again Dad and Fufadji pitching in to tell the ladies that they were overdoing with the way they described the fiaso of Ricky’s (Amreeka wale tayaji’s son) wedding, a short break with Pammi Bhua, who is an amazing singer, singing to Prakash Kaur’s

“Bajre da sitta, ni main talli te marodeya…..” and Fufadji making fun of her …….Kinna Maja aunda.

It was during these discussions one night when Pammi bhua said to Mom “Bhabiji, I am telling you , we have made a big mistake by teaching our children the right thing to do. That is why they suffer so much. I have decided some golden rule for my Pota-Poti and will make sure they become Awara no. 1, only then they can survive in this ruthless world warna koi nai puchhda”

Mom: “Pammi , what you said is crore di gall. Look at us, what did we gain by making our children cultured and well educated. If they were Awara by now they would have been married, may be twice – and I would be sitting here with my grandchildren. Waheguru knows when I will see their face. (Hitting me) Maran to pellan mainu dikhadi….”

My Mom's answer for everything I say

Me: Mom . what can I do ? Initially you had put 101 restrictions on me. Ethe nai jaana, othe nahi dekhna, ye nai karna wo nai karna. Now you say – find a partner yourself. Sorry but all good guys are taken and booked for life – and this happened when you were forcing me to study Probability chapter in Maths which I hated so much.

Mom: Pammi , I am telling you – I am going to write a rule book for the next generation so that they don’t do the same mistake that we have done.

Rule 1: Give them bad environment to grow up, bare minimum things to play and study. (Hitting me) For her we put “Jhoolah” and ede papa de truck vich mitti leke aaye , in corner of the garden she played with friends in Mitti making small houses of wet mud because I  thought children will play and this will help in physical and mental growth. I failed Pammi I totally failed. Aaha dekhla (hitting me again) what became of her.  Koi lod nai ehe sab karn di.

Rule 2: Never give them nutritious food . Only give them junk food. (Pointing at me again) Aha dekhla Kothe jinni lambi karti kudi  – ki faida hoya. Last month enna vadiya rishta aaya si – amreeka wale Tayaaji had sent, but the guy was short te Bewakoof Kudi (pointing at me yet again) ne mana karta. So don’t give good food – let them be short and thin. When they get something better they will feel good about it.

Rule 3: No need of good or branded schools. Only sarkaari schools vich bache padao. First you give them branded education then they don’t like anything non branded. So give them simple education – no need of Hi-Fi degrees. Look at Happy – He is doing so well in Canada driving Taxi. Does he have degree? No. Does he have beautiful wife? Yes. Does he have kids? Yes. And look at her (pointing at me again) – Happy is 2 years younger to her and ehe hale baithi aa.

Rule 4: No need to participate in extra-curricular activities at all. They are dimag – kharab activities. Debate and elocution vich bolke these kids think they are so good. Swa good.

Rule 5: If they get good marks – give them one tight slap. Tell them they should get only 3/10 – and not more. Don’t encourage them for higher studies . Lock them in bathroom next time if they still get good marks or think of becoming Doctor, Engineer.

Rule 6: If you call them and they reply “HANJI” another slap on their face. What is Hanji? Say AAHO. Because those who speak like this are very much in demand pammi – I am telling you. And aha Bewakoof (hitting me) says “Mom, He has no manners” Manners gayee tel lehn.

Rule 7: Don’t preach them anything “Khandaani”. Tell them to have as many girl friends they want and as many boy friends they want. Ki Khatt leya main khandaani akal deke? Pammi – did Jeeti tell you ….Her daughter got engaged?

Pammi bhua's Common Reaction

Pammi: Achhaaaaaa. Nai Bhabiji. When did that happen? Jeeti never tells me anything.

Mom: Happen taan 5 years pelan ho gaya si. For four years she had a boy friend. Now she got engaged to another NRI who is a GC holder and left the previous borfriend because he didn’t get GC. And ek Meri Bewakoof (pointing yet again at me) – 10 waari Amreeka jaake vi ek BF nai banaya.

Rule 8: Study less and do more of Facebook. No need to see these rotten channels like cnbc, discovery or reading knowledgeable books etc. Only spend time on Facebook, Instagran and waheguru knows hor kede kede websites ne – post as many photos and send faltu friend requests to everyone.

Rule 9: Work Less – Flirt More, Promotion di nahi koi lod. What is the point in working so hard , have dark circles under eyes and get a promotion after sleepless nights. The area where promotion is required (Shaadi) othe admission hi nahi mili.

Rule 10: 

Me: Mom ,Pammi bhua – I am sure there are many parents like you and many youngsters like me who are going through this but it is waheguru ji’s hukam under which we all reside and find our happiness. So Rule no. 10 is be happy with what you receive as Gurbani says:

“ਹੁਕਮੈ ਅੰਦਰਿ ਸਭੁ ਕੋ ਬਾਹਰਿ ਹੁਕਮ ਨ ਕੋਇ ॥ ਨਾਨਕ ਹੁਕਮੈ ਜੇ ਬੁਝੈ ਤ ਹਉਮੈ ਕਹੈ ਨ ਕੋਇ ॥”

Hukamai andar sabhu ko baahar hukam na koi. Nanak hukamai je bujhai ta houmai kehai na koi

 which means Everyone is subject to Hukam; no one is beyond (exempt or outside of) Hukam. O Nanak! One who understands Hukam, does not speak in ego (i.e., that person does not live in Haumai or ego).

Pammi Bhua come let's do some Gidhha , you remember that boli 

" Nacha Nacha Nacha , Ni main agg wangu Macha,

Meri Nachdi di Jhanjhar Chhanke ni

Main taan Nachna Patola Banke ni"