Daughter - A Gift of Love

Today I met Venkat Uncle in the lift carrying Jholas of veggies and fruits, his wife who is his perennial partner for veggie shopping was missing. I asked him “Where is Aunty , Venkat Uncle?”.

“Aunty not well, sleeping, full fever, full cold, all night coughing. I wash house, kitchen, clothes, now I make curry. Without Aunty very difficult life for me.” As he stepped out of the lift managing his jholas I told him not to hesitate if he needed any help.

It reminded me of the days when Mummy would come to visit me and brother, Papa used to have a very tough time – it was not just kitchen but everything starting from morning tea , maids, clothes, calls from relatives, calls from children, taking care of Bibi, making sure the bedsheets are changed, paying everyone’s salary on time and what not revolves around Mummy. All this apart from the intangible emotional involvement she has in our lives. Such an important role a woman has to play and still in many places the society fails to give them the respect they should get and many times get rid of them even before they are born.

Dil bharda……..

kukh vich na maar maaye, tenu dekhan da jee karda

Chidi boldi………….

Godi vich chak baabla, main naa teri pagg roldi

Vajdi Ghadoli…….

Soni pagg ban veera, ajj tor tu meri doli

Khanke kangna…..

Booha khol, Main tere ghar aayee saajna

I cannot thank Waheguru ji enough that I was born to such loving parents, who brought me up like their son. There was no such privilege which I was kept away from. Infact compared to my brother, I have always had a bigger share of everything. I had more clothes in my wardrobe, my education was more expensive than my brother’s, a bowl of Matar Paneer is always kept separately for me coz that is my favorite and I won’t share it with anyone, Papa gifted me a car before my brother got one and so much more that couple of pages are too few to mention - I am everyone’s Laadli in the family.

Till now I thought girls of my generation and similar families would not have any different life than mine. But I realized I was wrong when I met Jeeti, my loving friend from school days and more surprisingly to see that a woman was responsible for her own demise.

 Jeeti, the only child of her parents, got married, as the tradition holds, into another Business-wali family. Gurmeet, her husband is very educated and DEGREEfied – well known Doctor. A posh house in Sector 21 Chandigarh and three hospitals doing extremely well, very reputed family in the Punjabi Circle - what else would you want? A son. Nope not just a healthy child, but a son.

Jeeti, morosely narrated how she was under so much stress from her in-laws who wanted to have a grandson. After she relieved her mind’s agony, she said “Neet, I am going to send this letter to my mother in law, hope she will get some sense of what she is doing after reading this.” The letter read: 

"

Dear Mummyji,

I tried pleading, explained you how it was ok that I am also a girl and the only child to my parents, and that you were born a woman too – but nothing seems to budge your desire for a grandson.  

I am happy, at-least Gurmeet, is supporting me and his support is my strength. I think his righteous nature comes from Daddy ji – the Y chromosome is playing well. I am wondering what traits he would have picked up from your X chromosome in his XY combination.

And think a little more – If I have a son, he would have my X and Gurmeet’s Y , your grandson would not have anything from you.  Your legacy ends at Gurmeet.

Only If I have a girl – Gurmeet’s X would carry your legacy.

This also means you should have prayed for a daughter, who would have probably passed your inheritance. Since you missed that chance at-least now pray for a grand-daughter so that something of you is passed forward.

Jeeti.

“

After I heard her, for a couple of seconds I was awkwardly stupefied. I just realized – Oh yes – the grandson doesn’t carry the X from father’s side. Barring the details of how chromosomes work -

Tell me Bebeji – why do you want Pota only? Even if it is a girl it is fine !

At this moment to my mind comes the picture of a young girl “Her name was Neerja Bhanot and she died a hero”.  There is no dearth of Neerjas, Kalpana Chawlas, PT Ushas, Kiran Bedis, Chhavi Rajawats  and so many such names of women who have made their family and country proud then why should the society shy of having girl child.

Gurbani says:

“ਸੋ ਕਿਉ ਮੰਦਾ ਆਖੀਐ ਜਿਤੁ ਜੰਮਹਿ ਰਾਜਾਨ ॥“(why call her bad? From her, kings are born.)

“ਭੰਡਹੁ ਹੀ ਭੰਡੁ ਊਪਜੈ ਭੰਡੈ ਬਾਝੁ ਨ ਕੋਇ ॥“(From woman, woman is born; without woman, there would be no one at all)