They got married to each other because……….

All of us have had the famous discussions and debates on Arrange Marriage vs. Love Marriage whether at school, college, office, drinking at a pub over heart break, on the dining table with parents, when that one cousin of the family dared to do love marriage, when that one cousin who was always appreciated for being the “good child” of the family ………….and many more times.

As my friends and cousins tie their knots it is interesting to hear their story and in short here is a compilation of why they got married:

1. I fell head over heels on your bhabhi, Tota si apne college di, So viah taan karauna si
2. I finished Masters , was well settled in my job now that was the next thing to do
3. I wanted to teach my ex a lesson, so I got married so that she realizes what a mistake she did by leaving me.

   

   Achaaaa.....Let me get married before her

4. I was in love with him, we both were strong emotional support for each other so it was a worthy goal
5. I was tired of paying all my bills  and rent on my own , I thought I will find someone to share them, everyone said marriage is the best way out
6. All my friends were getting married – I had no one of my age left to hang out with so I thought let’s get married
7. My parents were after my life to get married, finally I gave in, their izzat and khandaan and all
8. My mother wanted me to get married, Dad is chill
9. He was rich, I didn’t want to keep working –I met him and knew instantly he is the one
10. I wanted to have children, they are god’s blessing
11. I was going to hit 30, I had decided I will marry before 30 for sure otherwise I am the odd one out, everyone will call me old
12. What kind of a question is this? Everyone does, I did, big deal.
13. I was working in USA, if you are married you pay less taxes and one more working partner is an advantage and parents were also after my life

    

    Paihe milge.....  :)

14. My mother told me I will get some cash money in dowry and I needed that to invest in business and I got a wife also.
15. I met her, we both liked each other , had the same interests and thought it would be a good idea to get married so that we can stay together without society pointing any dirty fingers at us
16. He looks like Ranbir Kapoor so I fell in love with him and told Daddy ji, I will marry this guy only
17. Who am I earning so much money for? With whom will I watch a movie and laugh at jokes? When I go out to whom should I say “Look this river is so beautiful” – I was tired of taking selfies – I decided it is time to get married

    

    Stupid me :)

18. I didn’t have enough education credentials so that  was the only easy way to go to Canada – after going there I will think what to do
19. Hawwww – why are you asking ? I was crazy for marriage from bachpan. You know my boyfriend is just like hero and he told me we will marry in jaipur palace and we will give big reception and I will wear very heavy lehanga and beauty parlour wali is coming there only and all guests will come and we will dance so much and then we will go to honeymoon to Switzerland, I am so happy.
20. What ??? “Why do you want to marry” – stupid question. That is why you are not getting married – stupid girl asking stupid question.

30 odds from my 30 odds

As I spend my inspiring 30s, every day I learn/realize something about myself and life and I think I have become more mature. And the very next day ignorance strikes back, grounding me and making me feel there is still a long way to go. I thought, I will share 30 odd things that life has taught me in these 30 odd years, or not necessarily taught me but how I feel about things in my 30s which is different from the previous years – and although there might be more or less than 30 things but it just sounded nice to have 30 for 30 so here we go:

1. Family time is very important. For all those times when I gave undue priority to work and ignored my parents and brother – I don’t feel sad, Yes no sad, why? Because I would not have understood their importance.
2. It doesn’t matter if your brother talks to you only when he has to fight with you or when he needs food or when his clothes are not ironed – he is the best blood relation after your parents. No cousin/friend can ever replace a sibling no matter how close a friend and how distant a sibling.

   

   Family

3. My Parents are getting older – they are about to hit the 60s and one day they will be no more. This is so dispiriting.
4. Everybody is in a mess – so don’t honk too hard if the car in front of you is slow. Just let it go.
5. Sleep is very important and I can’t sacrifice it for anything – not for late night movies, not for late night parties nothing.
6. If I was born today and have to grow up till today  – that’s the amount of time left for me on this planet to travel the world – I guess I will be able to healthily travel till my 60s
7. People who get their work done by creating “fear” are only feared, never respected.
8. Wear any clothes – it doesn’t matter – it is that attitude you wear that makes you look beautiful.
9. I admit my faults on a regular basis and apologize when I feel likeJ. I have become more aware of my shortcomings and put in a lot of effort to overcome them.
10. It is absolutely OK to eat your dinner alone, shop alone, watch TV alone – better alone than bad company
11. Let nobody tell you that you can’t do it – you and only you know if you can or you can’t. Now if you don’t want to do it then it is a different storyJ
12. They say people change – I don’t think so , I think circumstances change , situations change, social status changes, bank balance changes – dishonest remain dishonest, sly remain sly, greedy remain greedy, principled remain principled, kind remain kind – they don’t change.
13. If you think they changed – probably “inconsistency” was a virtue in them you didn’t see.

    

    Healthy Me :)                 

14. Exercising and keeping me healthy have become indispensable part of my routine.
15. There is no point being possessive about anything in this world – not your car, not your lavish house, not your relationships – nothing. While they are around your humanly duty is to enjoy them, when they are gone your humanly duty is to say “Bye Bye” to them and start enjoying something else.
16. Sometimes one learning of yours contradicts the other – it’s ok, just  use whichever suits the occasion and move onJ
17. Doesn’t matter how much you plan and take precautions, life will surprise you, but still keep planning because it keeps you from feeling guilty about sitting hand-on-hand and being useless
18. Religion is not about reading the Holy Scripture and performing the rituals – it’s more than that. What more? I don’t know for all of it….still trying to figure out
19. If I got married and had kids at the age my mother did – I would have had a 10 yr old daughter and 6 yr old son and they would be a disaster. Now I know God has plans for me.
20. I have learnt to take hard decisions – and I have learnt no one else will take them for me or live them for me.
21. No comparison – I don’t compare my riches to other’s , infact no comparing anything – we all have our lives to live and no one can measure how successful or happy you are.
22. Society will always measure you with its yardstick – ignore their judgment as long as you know you are right and happy
23. I never believed in “Kuchh kuchh hota hai Rahul, tum nahi samjhoge”, but yes there is something your heart will say ,  your gut will say and don’t ignore it, not so that you can take a decision for/against the situation but so that you are more aware of the situation and will know how to deal with it better
24. Facebook is not life – Life is what happens outside Facebook
25. You now know who you really are and want to be honest about it , because now, you don’t care what people think and honesty has its own charm – doesn’t matter how much you hate the truth in the beginning, you will fall for it
26. You can look very very very HOT in your 30s, and the younger guy next to you, could go for an INsecurity check “Tenu Kaala chasma jachda ni, jachda ni gore mukhde te”  

27. There is no dance like Bhangra and no music like Punjabi music. Period.
28. You realize the difference between debating and convincing – now you let people have their

      viewpoint vs. passionately convincing them to accept yours. As a result there is less room for 

      compromise – you just walk away.
29. Love doesn’t happen when you plan for it – “Wise men say only fools rush in” – they are lying

30. As your 30s change, these 30s will change too.